NewStats: 3,263,597 , 8,180,698 topics. Date: Friday, 06 June 2025 at 06:01 PM 4w734c

Babatunjo:
No wahala. But marriage prep for men needs to reflect today's realities—not just recycled advice from another era.

Too many men attend seminars, stick to the script, and still get blindsided. Why? Because the manual no match the terrain.

We’re not knocking marriage—we’re saying: update the tools, update the talk.

I mentioned marriage seminar here because you mentioned driving school. The seminar is to marriage what driving school is to driving cars. Many did not go to driving school but they are good drivers. Many have enjoyed or have been enjoying peaceful marriages without having attended any marriage seminar.

Any man who is sincere to himself does not need to attend marriage seminars. Any man who does not choose physical appearance over good behaviour does not need to attend marriage seminars before he can have a peaceful marriage. Any man who is dedicated to his marriage without looking at other women outside will have a good marriage without marriage seminars.

Divorce rate is increasing as the society gets more marriage seminar centres. This is the same way the rate of road accident is increasing as the society gets more driving schools. This is because the population of abs and perverts is growing. People know the right thing but are unwilling to do it. Nothing is wrong with marriage. But so many things are wrong with humans and the way humans approach marriage these days.

The post is subtly condemning marriage by questioning whether marriage has any benefit for men. What the post should have done is to question why people approach marriage wrongly, or question what people could have been doing wrongly in marriage these days.

In a law court, the judge is the one on trial.

Babatunjo:
It's true, cars dey kill, houses dey collapse. But we do service/repair our cars, go to driving school, and follow building plans. Why? Because even good things need structure and ability.

Now let's look at marriage:
Nigeria’s divorce rate has increased significantly over the last decade. There are scientific researches linking relationship stress to rising male suicide and depression.

So it's not about discrediting marriage o, but to ask: how can we build it better? Even a mansion go fall if the foundation bend.

I already addressed everything you said here.

As you go to driving schools and following building plans, attend marriage seminars and stick to the purpose of marriage.

Babatunjo:
When something keeps going wrong for many, wisdom demands we step back, not just to question who’s in it, but what we’ve turned it (marriage) into.

Marriage no do anybody bad on its own, but the way we dey structure am, hype am, and pressure people into it—na that one dey quietly wound plenty souls.

The rate of road accident is increasing. Nobody has asked if cars have benefits for men.

The rate of building collapse is increasing. Yet, everybody wants to be a landlord instead of asking whether houses have benefits for men.

So, why is the reaction different for marriage? Aren't people hyping houses and cars? In fact, the pressure for cars and houses is more than the pressure for marriage. Yet, the poster is indirectly trying to discredit marriage.

Many vegetable sellers and commercial drivers or commercial motorcyclists have been making profits for decades. Has it placed them ahead of someone who has been a bank manager for just 5 years? Many people who have spent decades in businesses are not as rich as senior workers in oil companies. Many who work in banks or in oil companies are not as rich as some people that have spent just a few years in businesses.

Whichever side you choose, try to be the best on it. Otherwise, anybody on the other side will be ahead of you. Be the best of who you are.

If you choose business, it will make you rich if you do it well. You will be poor if you don't do it well.

If you choose work and salary, they will make you rich if you handle them well. You will be poor if you do not handle them well.

Babatunjo:
True, marriage doesn’t decide how it’s felt, people do. But let’s be honest, not everyone enters with the same tools, mindset, or .

And while some build legacies in marriage, others quietly drown in it. We’ve seen good men break down, some even take their lives, all while “doing this right thing/marriage.

You have itted that people use attitude to condition marriage. You have itted that marriage does not condition itself. So, why do you sound as if marriage has turned itself against humanity? Why do you throw your question at marriage itself instead of throwing the question at those who go into marriage with the wrong mindset?

Are you sure it is not just for this festive period?

Fiscus105:
Just analysis, u can go back to read edited, still editing wen u reply.

1.
You have not stated the difference between a trusted person and an untrusted person.

2.
There is no logical connection between what you wrote as your response and my comment itself. You quoted my comment with the intention to disagree with it but you have been unable to focus your statement on the comment. You totally deviated from the meaning and the context of the comment. You have not pointed out any part of my comment that says their is no good relationship or there is no bad relationship. Therefore, you telling me about good girls and bad girls is childish and unwarranted. My comment does not in any way imply that all girls are the same. it that you did not reason properly before responding to my comment.

Fiscus105:
You doubt only for the trusted ones, but for rest, do that at Ur own, "serving a breakfast soonest.

Explain the difference between trusted people and untrusted people.

Fiscus105:
If you have opportuned of meeting girls like you before, you would understand what beautiful relationship can be with women. They make the relationship easily and enjoyable for the guy, but for the girl who doesn't like u, it would be like hell on earth.

Which part of my comment deserves this response from you? Or, are you just responding without thinking properly? Does my comment say that there are no good or bad relationships?

No matter how you love someone, there must be a time you fall asleep without informing the person. That's why I said you should doubt the excuse only when it comes regularly.

"Sorry I missed your calls. I slept early yesternight."

Be careful when doubting this one. Even you yourself sleep early sometimes. Doubt her only when it is a regular occurrence or when you have proof that she was awake.

Don't use your preconceived negative notion to condemn someone you have not found guilty. Don't treat assumptions as facts.

Babatunjo:
I feel you, boss. Marriage as an institution might not have changed—but the world around it don change tire. Expectations, pressure, shifting roles, cost of living and so on.

When I say “current structure,” I mean the way marriage feels for plenty men today.

Nobody dey attack marriage o. But let’s be real—if cars started catching fire more often, people would question them too. 😅 Na the same thing we dey do here.

Marriage does not decide how it should be felt by people. People decide how they feel marriage.

Why are you pushing the blame on marriage instead of blaming those who decide to feel marriage wrongly?

Marriage does not change itself but people can change their approach and perceptions of marriage. So, why are you questioning marriage instead of questioning people who change their approach to marriage?

I agree with you.

algomachine:
You answered the kid maturely, well done.

I’m married and I must confess that marriage has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Extra meaning to life: You’re a provider and you have a legacy to protect, your kids are an extension of you, so you just sense that in years to come, they would replace you.

Secondly, marriage opens doors: dunno if this is due to extra pressure or whatever, but I was able to build 3 houses whilst being married although I bought the land as a bachelor.

Thirdly, the society somewhat accords you respect which can open unforeseen doors.


Cons:
Bills, bills, bills , bills more bills. You’ll find it hard to do anything asides from work and providing, once you stop doing this, you’ll feel so empty that death would look like a good idea.
The days of managing 3k and sapa rice is gone, you must have money at all times, emergency funds should always be kept.
For introverts, sometimes you just wanna be alone, but it’s impossible at this point, if you go out, you’ll have to explain where you went to and all that.
I can go on and on but lemme stop here.

Before marrying, ensure your wife can bring something substantial to the table. Her beauty would fade after some years, the value would not. If you marry a woman from a wealthy home, even better.

You and the poster are the kids here.

What exactly does he mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage and its purpose remain unchanged. If you have changed any of them for yourself, that's your cup of tea.

Marriage, like every other thing, pays according to how it is handled. Marry wrongly and the marriage will be a burden to you. Marry rightly and the marriage will be a blessing to you. What you plant is what you reap.

The reality is that perverts and abs are growing in population. Instead of condemning marriage, condemn abuse and perversion. As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to man.

Babatunjo:
That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

What exactly do you mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage and its purpose remain unchanged. If you have changed any of them for yourself, that's your cup of tea.

Marriage, like every other thing, pays according to how it is handled. Marry wrongly and the marriage will be a burden to you. Marry rightly and the marriage will be a blessing to you. What you plant is what you reap.

The reality is that perverts and abs are growing in population. Instead of condemning marriage, condemn abuse and perversion. As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to man.

Nsexy333:
Nawao , u are one of those dragging us backwards in this country. And so after 20 years will the evil person be killed or freed This is my complain and take please, if you don't understand me please excuse me. A young boy of 20yrs commits such crime, goes to prison for 20 yrs, comes back by 40 yrs and still living good, but he has already killed another person's child that's gone forever

Being able to drag you backwards shows that you are weak.

If there is something wrong in not doing it, doing it is right.

If there is nothing wrong in not doing it, doing it is wrong.

Has your father said that he didn't benefit anything from the marriage that brought you into this world?

If not, the post is childish.

Babatunjo:
That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

What exactly do you mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage and its purpose remain unchanged. If you have changed any of them for yourself, that's your cup of tea.

Marriage, like every other thing, pays according to how it is handled. Marry wrongly and the marriage will be a burden to you. Marry rightly and the marriage will be a blessing to you. What you plant is what you reap.

The reality is that perverts and abs are growing in population. Instead of condemning marriage, condemn abuse and perversion. As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to men.

Nsexy333:
It looks like many of you didn't read through the line before saying good good good here. What's all this nonsense fine he's writting up and down? Is he looking for money? Someone caught with Human parts for rituals should pay a fine of some money or some years in Prison? No death penalty at all on any of the stupid bills. It's obvious he knows those using the humans parts that's why, nonsense. Blood begets blood, until I see such bill this is rubbish. Because boys will continue knowing if caught it's just money to pay or some years in prison, so they will always risk it.

You are the one who didn't read the post. The post says, "20 years of imprisonment without the option to pay a fine".

EvilMerodack:
But Immortalcrown said this news isnt true

Since they've confirmed it, I'm yet to see his comment on the FP

Always out to shout victimization

I never said so.

I simply said that the ritualist's name should be mentioned in the post if the post is not fiction. That is clearly an attempt to confirm the news.

Asking whether a claim is true or not is different from saying that a claim is not true.

It is very wrong to report such an incident without mentioning the ritualist's name.

Very good.

They are still the same in appearance, not in quality.

Why are those pictures attached? Do those two ladies love other men more than they love their husbands?

As for the question, most wives didn't marry whom they love, they married men that were ready.

I would have answered yes to the question but there are exceptions in everything. The poster should have said, "Most married women", instead of saying, "Every married woman".

Two things:

1️⃣
If I find all most of the person's posts interesting. I mean, if the person posts what alligns with my ideology.

2️⃣
If the person is a new addition to my s. Viewing his or her posts is one of the most reliable ways to ascertain his or her true personality. Forget those who claim they post for fun and say that they should not be judged by their posts. You post what you subscribe to. Even when you don't subscribe to it, your caption will tell that you are clearly against the content, and that you are posting the content to condemn it.

It didn't happen in Anambra. It may or may not get to the front page.

APOPTOSIS:
1st: If God is a Christian, how come Christianity started barely some years ago while God has been in existence for eternity?
2nd: Are you still saying Christianity is older than God?

3rd: How can a Religion be higher or older than the God it was created to subserve?
4th: I believe God should be supreme and every other thing should lie beneath God, explain..

5th: If going to Church qualifies one to be a "Child of God", then such disqualifies Jesus, Abraham, Moses, Elijah, Joseph, David and many more too because they were never Christians.
6th: Christianity is a product of Jesus followership and not Almighty God!

7th: Did you know you are a Christian today simply because your parents or grandparents were Christians (or possibly by conversion) and if you were born into a Muslim family you would have likely end up a Muslim too and would that disqualify from being a child a God?

8th: Are you saying kids born to the Hindu, traditional worshippers and other religions don't belong to God almighty?

9th: If according to my Bible, GOD doesn't dwell in churches built by Humans, of what relevance is the question in the first place?

Please explain all these in a respectful manner.
Mind you I'm a Christian too and want to be educated more. Thanks.
I will be delighted to get answers constructively and with sources ( references).
I expect your sources to come from God too and not books written by humans.

1.
Did "Christian" and "Church" appear in my comment? Please, answer this question before we proceed.

2.
The post and its caption were edited after I had made my comment. Before I made my comment, "Religious Affiliation" was in place of Church. This is why I avoid words like "Christian" and "Church" in my comment.

Nairaland needs "Edit History" feature.

Don't embarrass yourself. Stay away from her. Can't you see that she has zero regard for you?

The government is evil. There is no doubt about it.

But let's be real here. Those who spend wisely can get pets without abandoning the pets this period. The type that borrow money to buy cars or rent apartments in estates are definitely the ones abandoning their pets right now. Wise spenders will not go for pets when 1 or 5% of their savings (savings, not even income) is less than the cost of keeping the pets.

As a matter of fact, when did these people get these their pets? It is even clearly stated in the post that one of them was using 50% of her income to feed the pets. If someone spends 50% of his or her income on feeding pets, imagine how much the person spends in paying rent before talking about feeding and clothing oneself. I am not even talking about whether the person considers taking care of his or her relatives or not. The person probably cares about only himself or herself and dogs. And as the case may be, tell me why such a person will not remain a wretched tenant for life. It might even be that they didn't have the pets before 2016.