NewStats: 3,264,996 , 8,185,290 topics. Date: Friday, 13 June 2025 at 05:49 AM 1s275i

Let’s Talk About the Real Deal Behind Marriage for Men



Marriage. That age-old institution. The white agbada, the jollof rice, the bride price negotiations, and of course—“So when are you getting married?” echoing from every family gathering.

But let’s ask the uncomfortable question out loud: What exactly does a man gain from marriage today?

Some say peace of mind. Others say companionship. But in reality, many men feel they're just ticking boxes—carrying financial burdens, losing personal freedom, and navigating emotional landmines… all while society expects them to “man up” and provide no matter what.

Let’s break it down:

Financial Pressure: From the lavish wedding to endless responsibilities—school fees, rent, emergencies—many men feel marriage is more of a debit alert than a life upgrade.

Emotional Isolation: Ironically, while marriage is supposed to be a partnership, many men confess they feel lonelier than ever, expected to be strong but never allowed to be vulnerable.

Freedom vs Responsibility: The bachelor life offers control over one’s time, friends, and money. Marriage, on the other hand, comes with a routine that often feels like a sacrifice of identity.

So here’s the real gist: Is marriage truly designed to benefit the man, or has it become a societal obligation that mostly serves others?

Dear Men and Women:
Is it time we redefined what marriage means in our culture?
Should a man marry for love, legacy, pressure—or not at all?

Drop your hot takes in the comments. Let’s talk. 👇🏽

Has your father said that he didn't benefit anything from the marriage that brought you into this world?

If not, the post is childish.

Babatunjo:
That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

What exactly do you mean by, "current structure of marriage"? Marriage and its purpose remain unchanged. If you have changed any of them for yourself, that's your cup of tea.

Marriage, like every other thing, pays according to how it is handled. Marry wrongly and the marriage will be a burden to you. Marry rightly and the marriage will be a blessing to you. What you plant is what you reap.

The reality is that perverts and abs are growing in population. Instead of condemning marriage, condemn abuse and perversion. As there is a rise in divorce, there is also a rise in road accident. Nobody has questioned whether cars offer any benefit to men. But you are asking whether marriage offers any benefit to men.

it depends on the man, the partner, and the marriage itself

In my opinion marriage is a test of leadership from God for men. Its a man’s duty to lead his family. If he is successful at it then that is his gain.

immortalcrown:
Has your father said that he didn't benefit anything from the marriage that brought you into this world?

If not, the post is childish.

That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

tunnyl:
In my opinion marriage is a test of leadership from God for men. Its a man’s duty to lead his family. If he is successful at it then that is his gain.

That’s a powerful perspective—and I agree that leadership is a core part of a man's role in marriage, especially in faith-based homes. But here's a question: if leadership is the test, are men being equipped and ed enough to it, or are they just thrown in and expected to figure it out alone?

Because without proper , even leadership becomes a burden, not a blessing.

Zero.
Zilch.
Nothing.
Nada.
Bupkis.

If you marry a woman that loves you more than you love her, you'll enjoy marriage.

If not. Sorry ooo.

Nothing

Negroid001:
If you marry a woman that loves you more than you love her, you'll enjoy marriage.

If not. Sorry ooo.

😂 You just unlocked Level 1 of Marriage Survival Guide!
But real question—what happens when the love starts to shift? E go still sweet or na cruise go end?

Babatunjo:


😂 You just unlocked Level 1 of Marriage Survival Guide!
But real question—what happens when the love starts to shift? E go still sweet or na cruise go end?

Bro the relationship wey I dey now. I just dey flex. Because she's more into me. I'm treated with respect and don't have to talk before she gets things done.

No Billing even tho my earnings is almost x 10 of hers.

I get the luck sha, almost all my relationships are like that.

Not yet married,so I can’t say,but by the look of things ooo….
Marriage looks like a dead and forgone conclusion

So this question - Marriage? Wetin man dey gain really?

This is not to change others view but from my experience, the man basically has the woman as a slave to perform the underlisted.

1. Housekeeper/Cleaner
2. Nanny for the children
3. Laundry services
4. Errands girl
5. intimacy gadget
6. Baby mama or pregnant carrier
7. Home keeper (different from house keeper)
8. Childrens driver/school runs
9. Cook
10. Multiplier (may be not in all cases)
11. Backbone/Spiritual partner (where there is a bond)
12. Helper ( representing you in many events)

Men take all these from women for free of charge. In case you doubt, ask questions.

I have gained financial for my business from my brother in law than any bank or individual. This depends on the kind of relationship you have with your wife.

Even my partner herself after I've set her up, she may not give me the money directly for the fear of giving to another woman but when is needed, I fear nothing financially with her.

Do we even check ourselves as men or we just run out to expect a perfect relationship from our woman?

It's even easy to heep all the man's mistakes and blames on her, and label her as evil. This is not always true.

Someone said above that marriage is a test of leadership from God for men. There was another one trying to justify that what if the love starts to shift, check yourself too. This all depends on your management style.

So far, Ive had to mutually balance control between myself and my partner. It's always a learning curve and we all have our experiences but it's been a sweet experience.

I know marriage is not anyone's mate but this is my direct experience.

Men has a lot to gain, not to even talk about having smart and lovely kids.

Nothing. If you're happy. At least let your children be. To leave offspring behind you. That's the only benefit. That's the only advantage of marriage. Everything else is a drawback. ☠️

🙋🏻‍♂️

Benglarue:
So this question - Marriage? Wetin man dey gain really?

This is not to change others view but from my experience, the man basically has the woman as a slave to perform the underlisted.

1. Housekeeper/Cleaner
2. Nanny for the children
3. Laundry services
4. Errands girl
5. intimacy gadget
6. Baby mama or pregnant carrier
7. Home keeper (different from house keeper)
8. Childrens driver/school runs
9. Cook
10. Multiplier (may be not in all cases)
11. Backbone/Spiritual partner (where there is a bond)
12. Helper ( representing you in many events)

Men take all these from women for free of charge. In case you doubt, ask questions.

I have gained financial for my business from my brother in law than any bank or individual. This depends on the kind of relationship you have with your wife.

Even my partner herself after I've set her up, she may not give me the money directly for the fear of giving to another woman but when is needed, I fear nothing financially with her.

Do we even check ourselves as men or we just run out to expect a perfect relationship from our woman?

It's even easy to heep all the man's mistakes and blames on her, and label her as evil. This is not always true.

Someone said above that marriage is a test of leadership from God for men. There was another one trying to justify that what if the love starts to shift, check yourself too. This all depends on your management style.

So far, Ive had to mutually balance control between myself and my partner. It's always a learning curve and we all have our experiences but it's been a sweet experience.

I know marriage is not anyone's mate but this is my direct experience.

Men has a lot to gain, not to even talk about having smart and lovely kids.

With men like you, toxic feminism has a bright future. No intention of attacking you, just saying.

Let me ask:
Are those her children too?
Or did you bring your own kids into the marriage?

Every point you listed is absurd and wrongly framed, straight out of some feminist textbook.

An 'intimacy gadget'?
Is that how you define the loving relationship between spouses?

Does laundry?
Where does she wash? In the river? By hand?
Turns on the washing machine?
How much laundry do you even have?

'Home keeper'?!?!?
You don’t have doors?
Is she armed?

Everything you wrote sounds like it came from a bitter woman.

Be careful how you respond. My next post will your identity. Let’s see if you’re really a man. Take a photo of yourself holding a paper with your forum name and post it in the thread. 🙂

Bro, the is not a contest. Peace is relative, it depends on how you define it and what it means to you.

Are you married? If you are not, then we may not have much to discuss because you won't understand. I also observed your mind is closed, may be based on your experience or exposure.

What do you mean by feminism? Respecting a woman so I can enjoy myself means feminism? It's strength if you learn from someone else's ideas and not pig headed on your beliefs. No offence please.

Recall I mentioned that it is an experience, it depends on what you want to make from the experience.

I am married.
I have ways been in charge.
The kids are absolutely ours together

Your response sounded like you are broken and ready to fight. We are all sharing our views here. You don't have to take mine and I don't have to take yours.

I have just shared my own experience.

Those are just what my wife has been to me. I have gained a lot.

Just take a chill pill.

Thank you.

goran3310:


With men like you, toxic feminism has a bright future. No intention of attacking you, just saying.

Let me ask:
Are those her children too?
Or did you bring your own kids into the marriage?

Every point you listed is absurd and wrongly framed, straight out of some feminist textbook.

An 'intimacy gadget'?
Is that how you define the loving relationship between spouses?

Does laundry?
Where does she wash? In the river? By hand?
Turns on the washing machine?
How much laundry do you even have?

'Home keeper'?!?!?
You don’t have doors?
Is she armed?

Everything you wrote sounds like it came from a bitter woman.

Be careful how you respond. My next post will your identity. Let’s see if you’re really a man. Take a photo of yourself holding a paper with your forum name and post it in the thread. 🙂

If you marry right, you'll enjoy

Babatunjo:


That's a fair point, and I respect your take. But this post isn't about my father or any one person's experience—it's about questioning whether the current structure of marriage still serves men in a healthy and balanced way.

Many men today feel trapped between cultural expectations and personal reality. The goal here isn’t to dismiss marriage, but to open a real conversation about how it can evolve to serve both partners better.

Let’s hear more perspectives—has marriage been a blessing or burden for the men you know?

Suspiciously like ChatGPT 🤔

Benglarue:
So this question - Marriage? Wetin man dey gain really?

This is not to change others view but from my experience, the man basically has the woman as a slave to perform the underlisted.

1. Housekeeper/Cleaner
2. Nanny for the children
3. Laundry services
4. Errands girl
5. intimacy gadget
6. Baby mama or pregnant carrier
7. Home keeper (different from house keeper)
8. Childrens driver/school runs
9. Cook
10. Multiplier (may be not in all cases)
11. Backbone/Spiritual partner (where there is a bond)
12. Helper ( representing you in many events)

Men take all these from women for free of charge. In case you doubt, ask questions.

I have gained financial for my business from my brother in law than any bank or individual. This depends on the kind of relationship you have with your wife.

Even my partner herself after I've set her up, she may not give me the money directly for the fear of giving to another woman but when is needed, I fear nothing financially with her.

Do we even check ourselves as men or we just run out to expect a perfect relationship from our woman?

It's even easy to heep all the man's mistakes and blames on her, and label her as evil. This is not always true.

Someone said above that marriage is a test of leadership from God for men. There was another one trying to justify that what if the love starts to shift, check yourself too. This all depends on your management style.

So far, Ive had to mutually balance control between myself and my partner. It's always a learning curve and we all have our experiences but it's been a sweet experience.

I know marriage is not anyone's mate but this is my direct experience.

Men has a lot to gain, not to even talk about having smart and lovely kids.

Really women benefit more from the men, However men also benefit, and again option
4,5,8,10 and 11 you have listed above benefit both men and women. Not only men in that regard.

Babatunjo:


😂 You just unlocked Level 1 of Marriage Survival Guide!
But real question—what happens when the love starts to shift? E go still sweet or na cruise go end?

Love only shift when you as a man begin to shift.

Most often as humans we tend to neglect what's in our hands and pursue another meat.

If she loves you first it takes doing something very stupid for her to let go.

I've one senior man like that the guy wife and kid dey American the wife still dey call husband sir.

If you hear them dey talk e be like na yesterday the woman travel but she dey Yankee for more than 15 years.

Woman wey disassociate herself with her father to be with the bros.

The bros no gree to travel meet madam na madam dey come Africa dey come meet bros...

Naso bros dey draw my ear to find one wey like me 100%

My problem be say after we do the do na all of them dey like me.

So I no really know who like me for being me.

Any man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. If you can keep to yourself, Don't marry! It's not by force. Stay single for the rest of your life and stop complaining about wetin man gain or wetin man no gain. Just live your life nigga.

Marriage no be by force!

Babatunjo:
Let’s Talk About the Real Deal Behind Marriage for Men



Marriage. That age-old institution. The white agbada, the jollof rice, the bride price negotiations, and of course—“So when are you getting married?” echoing from every family gathering.

But let’s ask the uncomfortable question out loud: What exactly does a man gain from marriage today?

Some say peace of mind. Others say companionship. But in reality, many men feel they're just ticking boxes—carrying financial burdens, losing personal freedom, and navigating emotional landmines… all while society expects them to “man up” and provide no matter what.

Let’s break it down:

Financial Pressure: From the lavish wedding to endless responsibilities—school fees, rent, emergencies—many men feel marriage is more of a debit alert than a life upgrade.

Emotional Isolation: Ironically, while marriage is supposed to be a partnership, many men confess they feel lonelier than ever, expected to be strong but never allowed to be vulnerable.

Freedom vs Responsibility: The bachelor life offers control over one’s time, friends, and money. Marriage, on the other hand, comes with a routine that often feels like a sacrifice of identity.

So here’s the real gist: Is marriage truly designed to benefit the man, or has it become a societal obligation that mostly serves others?

Opueh
Attitude
Silent treatment
Baby
Billing
Inlaw wahala
Reminder of what is not good in your life
Food
Fight
Argument
Laughter
Etc

Peakdesign23:
Any man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. If you can keep to yourself, Don't marry! It's not by force. Stay single for the rest of your life and stop complaining about wetin man gain or wetin man no gain. Just live your life nigga.

Marriage no be by force!

I feel you, sis. Marriage isn’t child’s play, and every man should understand the weight of it before entering.

That’s why we’re having these conversations; not to run from marriage, but to help people enter it with clear eyes and the right mindset.

Negroid001:


Bro the relationship wey I dey now. I just dey flex. Because she's more into me. I'm treated with respect and don't have to talk before she gets things done.

No Billing even tho my earnings is almost x 10 of hers.

I get the luck sha, almost all my relationships are like that.

Marry first na
You go follow create new thread

Who is this one creating threads and replying with AI? Is this what AI will turn NL to? So, some people have suddenly lost their abilities to engage in mental and logical real-world discussions without resorting to AI? It's pathetic!

If you marry a good woman, you will know that marriage is sweet.
My dad married a good woman which is my mom….i pray to be lucky like my dad.

webincomeplus:
Who is this one creating threads and replying with AI? Is this what AI will turn NL to? So, some people have suddenly lost their abilities to engage in mental and logical real-world discussions without resorting to AI? It's pathetic!

Lol, I get where you're coming from—but whether it’s AI, pen and paper, or voice notes, it’s still humans asking the questions and starting the conversations.

If tech helps us go deeper or express it better, why not use it? Na the same brain still dey behind it. 😎

Dexy4yah:
If you marry a good woman, you will know that marriage is sweet.
My dad married a good woman which is my mom….i pray to be lucky like my dad.

A good partner truly makes all the difference. 🙏

Negroid001:


Bro the relationship wey I dey now. I just dey flex. Because she's more into me. I'm treated with respect and don't have to talk before she gets things done.

No Billing even tho my earnings is almost x 10 of hers.

I get the luck sha, almost all my relationships are like that.

Marry her first, have 2 or 3 kids. If things remain the same, you can now boast

https://youtube.com/shorts/V4M9inCO2yY?si=LPXP6RmxjSH5SnNl