NewStats: 3,265,452 , 8,186,776 topics. Date: Sunday, 15 June 2025 at 03:09 AM 5c1x2v

Dpsychologist:
I saw this tweet by Erigga and it hit deep.

“I was with him when he was drinking garri.”
But na you buy the garri? 🤨

Let’s unpack this mindset that’s becoming very common in our generation.


🧠 The “Loyalty” Women Talk About Today is Not Real

Many women love to say they were there when you had nothing.
But truth is, a lot of them were just witnesses, not builders.

They didn’t help.
They didn’t invest.
They didn’t even believe in you—they were just hoping for a return on their emotional “time.”

It’s all about positioning themselves for the future harvest without ever planting seeds.


📌 Presence ≠ Participation

There’s a clear difference between being present and being useful.

Ask yourself:

Did she contribute to your hustle?

Did she with money, ideas, motivation?

Or did she just sit there… waiting?


Too many women want to claim royalty status for just hanging around during your broke phase.


💭 Real Loyalty is Silent

The girl who actually bought the garri isn’t the one tweeting.
She’s the one you when you finally blow—because she didn’t make noise, she made impact.

Loyalty is:

Showing up consistently.

Investing (not just emotionally, but tangibly).

Praying, planning, building with you.


But most of what you see now is emotional blackmail masked as .


⚠️ Men, Stop Rewarding ive Loyalty

Your success is not community property.
If she didn’t grind with you, she shouldn’t reap with you.

Let’s break it down clearly:

If What She Did is to make you feel Encouraged, ed, sacrificed then sje deserves Respect & loyalty
If What She Did is Invested in your dream then What She Deserves is Return on value
But if she Complained, watched, tolerated you then she deserves Nothing but silence 😐


💬 Final Thoughts

Let this sink in:

🧾 Presence without contribution is just observation.
And observers don’t get trophies.

So next time a woman says, “I was with you when you were drinking garri”, calmly ask:

“Did you buy am for me?”

Because sitting on the sideline doesn't make you a teammate.

What do y’all think?
Have you experienced this?
Drop your thoughts and share with someone who needs this reminder. 🧠🔥

the same men that will still exhibit bad character and poor loyalty to their wives if they eventually make it. Toor!! Loyalty is not the birthright for these men.

I would advise that women invest first in themselves before investing in 'potential' that these broke sons of Adam who haven't finished home training in their fathers' houses, if they had father's at all.

tunapawizzy:
It's no longer enough that you were with him when he was drinking garri, men dun wise up now, when he was drinking garri did u give him peace. Did you contribute to the garri.

Men have totally flipped the script. As a woman you have to come correct now. Young guys are now looking for submissive provider, nobody come this world come labour just because he was created with a penis. Men dun scarce now, so as a woman you now have to bring so so so much to the table and still submit. The basic requirement is not enough anymore, you have to dp so much more. Otherwise just go and freeze your eggs until your simp shows up.

they are looking for submissive provider. May those kind of men aviod me and my loved ones.

Submissive provider kwa! In this economy, where power and influence is blind to gender. If the woman is the provider, then she is head of the household, yes she should respect you, but to submit?

I laugh in Mami wata.

So you expect your daughter, your sister to be a submissive provider for somebody else's son?

JayEdm:
I did all the above...was loyal,gave money,advice, everything I had. Would even share money people dashed me with him. I was so open. Helped him apply for jobs,talked to pple on his behalf,prayed for him etc...what did I get after he started seeing small cash (which is still as a result of my effort o). He said and I quote " I never forced you to help me". This life ,never help an ingrate who is also e titled.

Glad you learned. He used you as a placeholder. Hope you dragged him back down to the gutters where you met him.

DrFunmisticGlow:
they are looking for submissive provider. May those kind of men aviod me and my loved ones.

Submissive provider kwa! In this economy, where power and influence is blind to gender. If the woman is the provider, then she is head of the household, yes she should respect you, but to submit?

I laugh in Mami wata.

So you expect your daughter, your sister to be a submissive provider for somebody else's son?

1. So if the husband suddenly loses his income or have downturn in business, he stops being the head of the household. If illness suddenly prevents him from being the one that brings the bigger income, he stops being the head. And what happens when things pick up again for him, he becomes the head again.
Is there anything the female gender cannot make money-dependent.
He stops being the head becaue u now make more money than him yet you respect him.

2. I'm not raising my daughter to condition her existence or assumption of responsibility on availability or scarcity of money or resources. If she decides to derail, then it will be her cross to carry. At least me too I deviated from some teachings by elders and when it was time to dance to the music, I carried my cross.

Babanlagenius:



1. The money you give her despite your struggles.

2. The fact that she’s probably convinced she’s not sharing you with another lady.

3. The sex. (Same sex you think you’re enjoying more)

The evil one uses all 3 tools to keep her with you, and use just number 3 to keep you with her.
A good way to tame someone that’s more likely to succeed effortlessly.

One of the biggest lies is to think they’ve been the one trying to make the relationship work.

Is she doing the same to other men? Or just one person she’s positioned to manipulate?

If you don’t mind , I will like to continue this conversation privately. I can send you a dm. I want to know more. These things you’re revealing are insightful and at the same time mysterious.

Wananonly:
The garri was all he had to offer her and she stayed bro. Giving him cooking and cleaning and doggy and monkey. Whereas people were who would have given her more if she followed them.

She didn't buy the garri but what she sacrificed was 10x more.

I don't care bro. Let the simpsults rain on me.

I don see say some of you far from sense.So as the guy dey knack his woman, you don't know that the woman enjoys it more.

Some men are so silly, same you will cry women only want riches when you will still shame the ones that stood by you when you were broke when small change starts to enter your hands

DrFunmisticGlow:
the same men that will still exhibit bad character and poor loyalty to their wives if they eventually make it. Toor!! Loyalty is not the birthright for these men.

I would advise that women invest first in themselves before investing in 'potential' that these broke sons of Adam who haven't finished home training in their fathers' houses, if they had father's at all.

Same thing i will advise guys too. They should invest in themselves ans leave broke daughters of eve let's see how they gonna thrive.

dominique:


Countless ladies do that but you people will always want them to keep mum about it so you can continue to push the narrative that women bring nothing to the table. When they get betrayed for girls that will look the other way while he was drinking garri, you people will say they don't deserve loyalty. What makes you think you also deserve loyalty?

At the end no one deserves loyalty.

SHIVA001:


So The Day wey Life Hit you really hard, wey your preek no stand na that day you go know say no be only Knacks you Marry woman for.

Everybody with their life
Expectations from wife to husband is far different from benevolence from wife to husband.
Vis-à-vis

DeeScan:

. Lol .. so knacks is the usefulness of our Nigerian gels .. nawa oo

No sir, that’s what I want in my woman but if she shows her benevolence to me, it’s fine.

[/color]U mean like offering kpekus?[color=#770077]

Wananonly:
The garri was all he had to offer her and she stayed bro. Giving him cooking and cleaning and doggy and monkey. Whereas people were who would have given her more if she followed them.

She didn't buy the garri but what she sacrificed was 10x more.

I don't care bro. Let the simpsults rain on me.

[/color]hmm this word is loaded [color=#770077]

tunnyl:


Thats what I meant bro. I was being sarcastic. Some women even love it when you are in the Garri phase so that they wont have to drag you with other females; so that you wont ask them for romance or sex; or so that you wont be the man in the relationship.

[/color]which school d guy go sef[color=#770077]

Danisaint112:
I call it–the gospel of saint Erigga
Naija women don cry tire for E page.

In his exact words:
"I was with him when he had nothing", is not the same as "I ed him when he was broke."

Man got special wisdom. The only Nigerian celebrity musician I check his page once in a while for financial and relationship inspiration. Let me drop some.

Dpsychologist:


Same thing i will advise guys too. They should invest in themselves ans leave broke daughters of eve let's see how they gonna thrive.

True!!

Everybody should invest in themselves. Don't leave your destiny for a rich woman to give you handouts only for you to resent her for it once you make it.

Also for the ladies, A man is not a plan

tunapawizzy:


1. So if the husband suddenly loses his income or have downturn in business, he stops being the head of the household. If illness suddenly prevents him from being the one that brings the bigger income, he stops being the head. And what happens when things pick up again for him, he becomes the head again.
Is there anything the female gender cannot make money-dependent.
He stops being the head becaue u now make more money than him yet you respect him.

2. I'm not raising my daughter to condition her existence or assumption of responsibility on availability or scarcity of money or resources. If she decides to derail, then it will be her cross to carry. At least me too I deviated from some teachings by elders and when it was time to dance to the music, I carried my cross.

if the woman has to start picking up a previous responsibilities for her man then yes temporarily, she is the de-facto head. She will have to make decisions with the family's best interest in mind while still respecting her husband. But to have him lord over her? Why? She is doing the work of two people to sustain the family, should she now add her husband's whims to her list of worries?

2. The same way men will be very quick to lose interest in a woman who is no longer beautiful, sexually attractive, or becomes barren, or sick? Why can't they take the same medicine they dish out?

3. Raise your daughter how? I hope you know that finances is one of the main reasons marriages scatter. Teach your daughter not to plan her future around a stranger's son because of the hormonal imbalance people call romance. Teach her that should someone mistreat her, she can run to her father for refuge and protection instead of bearing the pain in fear until her next news will be an obituary headline on a newspaper. Teach her that she must plan her future financially for her and her children, if she marries a good man, that is a bonus. That the covenant of life will always be stronger than marriage. That she should learn to set boundaries and not tolerate insidious disrespectful behavior. Las Las, no matter what happens, she will be alright.

DrFunmisticGlow:
if the woman has to start picking up a previous responsibilities for her man then yes temporarily, she is the de-facto head. She will have to make decisions with the family's best interest in mind while still respecting her husband. But to have him lord over her? Why? She is doing the work of two people to sustain the family, should she now add her husband's whims to her list of worries?

2. The same way men will be very quick to lose interest in a woman who is no longer beautiful, sexually attractive, or becomes barren, or sick? Why can't they take the same medicine they dish out?

3. Raise your daughter how? I hope you know that finances is one of the main reasons marriages scatter. Teach your daughter not to plan her future around a stranger's son because of the hormonal imbalance people call romance. Teach her that should someone mistreat her, she can run to her father for refuge and protection instead of bearing the pain in fear until her next news will be an obituary headline on a newspaper. Teach her that she must plan her future financially for her and her children, if she marries a good man, that is a bonus. That the covenant of life will always be stronger than marriage. That she should learn to set boundaries and not tolerate insidious disrespectful behavior. Las Las, no matter what happens, she will be alright.

1. We are talking about head of the family. Your opinion is that whoever holds the lever of finances is the head of the family. One of the ideas that feminism and equality is fighting is the same idea you are projecting- because we are now talking about a woman having the financial superiority in this case. Headship is not defined by money, stop being excessively money-minded, if actions and responsibilities and roles are are given based on financial capacity- then it is no longer a marriage, it is now a transaction, a business arrangement, a mercenary union. Anybody with this mindset(man or woman) is a liability to the marriage- no capacity to give genuine love- money will always change the dynamics in that marriage
A partner submits does not mean the partner is lording over her. It is important that you marry a kind partner and one that you have confidence in his ability to lead and provide direction. For some of us with parents and their friends now in their 70s and above, we witnessed submission of wives, and husbands giving power back to the wives and those wives excelling in their endeavour- even reaching a higher zenith than their husbands(with the of the husbands ofcourse). Understand that your experience is your experience- not that of everyone else. And Stop trying to use the phrase "lord over her" to justify your idea.

2. Well our own fathers and uncles and brothers did not lose interest in their wives when they became less beautiful. The husbands of our sisters too, (after decades in marriage) have not lost interest in them as they are getting old. Our sisters are submissive and they are progressing with their careers and businesses. Why not take your time, find a man with common sense, instead of assuming majority of men will lose interest in their woman as she ages. Leading you to preparing a wicked aggressive strategy that will only affect your ability to give genuine love and receive same


3. Thank you for the advice on how to raise my daughters to be confident and high level of self-esteem. But while you are raising yours, also ensure you are raising a balanced female with ability to give love and receive same.

Thomasankara:
[/color]which school d guy go sef[color=#770077]

Night school. You sure say you go at all.

[/color]I can school u[color=#770077]

Danisaint112:


Night school. You sure say you go at all.

tunapawizzy:


1. We are talking about head of the family. Your opinion is that whoever holds the lever of finances is the head of the family. One of the ideas that feminism and equality is fighting is the same idea you are projecting- because we are now talking about a woman having the financial superiority in this case. Headship is not defined by money, stop being excessively money-minded, if actions and responsibilities and roles are are given based on financial capacity- then it is no longer a marriage, it is now a transaction, a business arrangement, a mercenary union. Anybody with this mindset(man or woman) is a liability to the marriage- no capacity to give genuine love- money will always change the dynamics in that marriage
A partner submits does not mean the partner is lording over her. It is important that you marry a kind partner and one that you have confidence in his ability to lead and provide direction. For some of us with parents and their friends now in their 70s and above, we witnessed submission of wives, and husbands giving power back to the wives and those wives excelling in their endeavour- even reaching a higher zenith than their husbands(with the of the husbands ofcourse). Understand that your experience is your experience- not that of everyone else. And Stop trying to use the phrase "lord over her" to justify your idea.

2. Well our own fathers and uncles and brothers did not lose interest in their wives when they became less beautiful. The husbands of our sisters too, (after decades in marriage) have not lost interest in them as they are getting old. Our sisters are submissive and they are progressing with their careers and businesses. Why not take your time, find a man with common sense, instead of assuming majority of men will lose interest in their woman as she ages. Leading you to preparing a wicked aggressive strategy that will only affect your ability to give genuine love and receive same


3. Thank you for the advice on how to raise my daughters to be confident and high level of self-esteem. But while you are raising yours, also ensure you are raising a balanced female with ability to give love and receive same.

I will ask that if heaven forbid you fell into difficult times financially? Will you allow your wife to bear the burden of going out to provide for the family and still come home tired to cook, clean, chase after children and still have sex with you? Or would you help her by relieving her burden a little?

2. Do you think that the men with common sense outnumber the men without, you have male friends. Can you say that not one out of all of them have treated a woman in a way that you wouldn't like your loved ones to be treated? It is unfortunate that women live in a world, in a country where the streets are not safe for her to walk without harassment in broad daylight or night time. You saying that I should look for a man with common sense. What are my odds? How confident are you in your gender? Bad men are rampant in this country because good men like you who claim to be one remain silent but can open their mouth when a woman weaker than them is involved. It is not about finding a man with common sense but with good values and character who will not fail in integrity and make choices that hurt his loved ones because he can do so without consequences. That is the hard part. Such men are rare.

The best way to raise a daughter to receive and give love is for her parents to be in love so that she can know what it looks like and not settle for less than that. How many marriages today can boast of that?


May God help us all. Both men and women. Both genders have hurt, envy, hatred and love towards each other and will keep hurting each other and transferring the hurt to future generations. Hopefully our fate will not be like that of the west.

HaneefahRN:
Some men are so silly, same you will cry women only want riches when you will still shame the ones that stood by you when you were broke when small change starts to enter your hands

How do men shame women who 'stood by them when they were broke'?

DrFunmisticGlow:
I will ask that if heaven forbid you fell into difficult times financially? Will you allow your wife to bear the burden of going out to provide for the family and still come home tired to cook, clean, chase after children and still have sex with you? Or would you help her by relieving her burden a little?

2. Do you think that the men with common sense outnumber the men without, you have male friends. Can you say that not one out of all of them have treated a woman in a way that you wouldn't like your loved ones to be treated? It is unfortunate that women live in a world, in a country where the streets are not safe for her to walk without harassment in broad daylight or night time. You saying that I should look for a man with common sense. What are my odds? How confident are you in your gender? Bad men are rampant in this country because good men like you who claim to be one remain silent but can open their mouth when a woman weaker than them is involved. It is not about finding a man with common sense but with good values and character who will not fail in integrity and make choices that hurt his loved ones because he can do so without consequences. That is the hard part. Such men are rare.

The best way to raise a daughter to receive and give love is for her parents to be in love so that she can know what it looks like and not settle for less than that. How many marriages today can boast of that?


May God help us all. Both men and women. Both genders have hurt, envy, hatred and love towards each other and will keep hurting each other and transferring the hurt to future generations. Hopefully our fate will not be like that of the west.

Amen

drehdinho:


Is she doing the same to other men? Or just one person she’s positioned to manipulate?

If you don’t mind , I will like to continue this conversation privately. I can send you a dm. I want to know more. These things you’re revealing are insightful and at the same time mysterious.

No, she might probably not be cheating on you or doing the same with other men. You don’t need to know that. The important thing is to mostly put yourself first. Your drive, your ion, your goals must come first. Cause this is exactly what women do to men.

They try to show they care about you by always checking up, but they always put themselves first.

And if it seems she loves you more, then she’s in a default stage with you, you have to shape her with a new lifestyle by acting on your goals. She will adapt if she truly loves you. If she doesn’t, she’ll leave you.

Babanlagenius:


No, she might probably not be cheating on you or doing the same with other men. You don’t need to know that. The important thing is to mostly put yourself first. Your drive, your ion, your goals must come first. Cause this is exactly what women do to men.

They try to show they care about you by always checking up, but they always put themselves first.

And if it seems she loves you more, then she’s in a default stage with you, you have to shape her with a new lifestyle by acting on your goals. She will adapt if she truly loves you. If she doesn’t, she’ll leave you.

The pressure from her is getting too much for me lately.


I have certain disclosures to make but I’m not sure if my personality is not cracked open somehow for easy identity.

You seem to be a genius with the precisions that come with all the messages you have dropped for me so far.

I won’t mind if you allow me to you over the phone for counseling.

I have been forcing myself to unlove her. I don’t know if my instinct is right or wrong that’s why I feel if I can explain the situation over telephone conversation you can be able to offer a more detailed guidance.