NewStats: 3,265,034 , 8,185,389 topics. Date: Friday, 13 June 2025 at 08:25 AM 216b35

Samueltemi337:

You are not the one who posted a mortuary job placement ad that has been floating around on the internet; you are not the one being asked some pertinent questions about the said ad; you are not the one who responded to my questions; you aren't even the one who insulted my intelligence, but here you are.



You don't have to always jump on the bandwagon of any conversation that feels like it to air your views. You don't have to. If I should resist the urge to shalaye as you've just said; I would advice that you, too, would do well to resist the urge to make this known. What you think, or how you feel, or how you express your opinion is neither more relevant, weightier, or of more consequences than any other poster here. Try to always bottle up your impulsive feelings. You are no longer a kid.

koldrun:

Like I said before now, you're quite brilliant, but I don't wish this kind of brilliance on my worst enemy. Hope nothing happens to your brain soon.

You don't have to hurl insults just because you want to talk down on good judgment. You might not like it but it is what it is: good judgment.

Please read my response to the poster, and if you don't have the time, here's it. I have made bold some key takes for you.

Baldwretch:


Are you posting this on the employer's behalf? Can you guarantee that I would get this job if I leave my base. I am brutally serious.

Clearly, I am asking if he has familial relationship with the employer. I wanted to be sure that he didn't pick up this job placement ad on a random website, sharing it here with us, or using a random job ad to catch cruise here.

Also, you can see that I am asking for some guarantee should I leave my present location for this job. I am not looking to apply for this one, or all the other ones after it with no guarantee. Do you have any idea the number of job placements I have applied to (in the past) that never got back to me?

Baldwretch:


I have[b] never worked in the mortuary.
[/b]
All my life, I have not even seen a dead body.

Have you ever seen a so-called wise or a person with "my kind of brain" as you put it - openly itting that he's inexperienced for a job placement? Does that, in any way, portray street-smartness?

My response to the guy was because of his subsequent response where he replied in the affirmative to these questions.

We don't want chaos here or people calling out others for no reason, please.

25, 500 naira? Very expensive!

Samueltemi337:


Omo people get time o

Don't worry. It's only a matter of time. Na time.

You'd get used to a longer wall of text.

Drforsuiciders:

Yes pls, go ahead and apply

I do not meet the job requirements. From what you posted, the job requires -

4+ years of work experience.
Knowledge of body preservation techniques and ethics.
Prior exposure in the mortuary setting, with possible certification in addition to a school-leaving certificate.

.

Thanks for sharing. Let my paranoia show face.

The email address ([email protected]) when typed on google shows that it belongs to a business firm or a group of businesses whose area of expertise is management and consultancy.

What you shared is just an anonymous email address that pretends to come from a human resource personnel. We know nothing about this job except that it is located in Ibadan and shared by myriads of other job application websites, but how do we know it is a real job posting by a real employer? Even if it is, I wouldn't waste my time to apply. There are hundreds, if not thousands, who have applied already. What is so special about me? What experience do I have?

Again, and as I asked you, you are not posting this on behalf of the employer because it is clear that you don't know the employer. Kikiki. Pardon me, please. You just shared it to catch cruise here. The job might be real, anyway, but you can't give me any guarantee. And even to send an application to very improbable bait of this sorts is a very big defeat for me.

There are at-least seven (7) other independent job application websites that either share this very email address or use it on their website. Just copy paste, you don't even have to go to the second page of google.

Samueltemi337:


It's your dream job?

Not a dream job, but a good - a very, very good job!

You know, most men think others are mortals but themselves. He would die. She would die. They would die, but not me.

We need to be reminded of our imminent mortality as often as possible while on the job.

Unpopular opinion: Victor Boniface is a better footballer than Victor Osimhen.

GWC25:
Experienced Baker must be willing to relocate to any branch of the bakery in Lagos or Ogun State

Relocating to the locations in bold is not a problem. However, I have some questions I would like to ask:

1. Are you posting this on behalf of the employer who would hire?

2. Can you guarantee (me) this job even if it's just for a month

3. Do you really have an accommodation (for me) should this work out?

4. Please, could you give an idea of the salary.

I have to mention that I have never worked in a bakery and I am not experienced, sadly.

If I am satisfied with your responses, I might leave base for this very job - first thing next tomorrow morning.

Drforsuiciders:

Its real man. Samuel and pjtech should look i to it

Are you posting this on the employer's behalf? Can you guarantee that I would get this job if I leave my base. I am brutally serious.

I have never worked in the mortuary.

All my life, I have not even seen a dead body.

Drforsuiciders:
Job Title: Mortuary Attendant
Location: Ibadan, Oyo
Employment Type: Full-time
Requirements / Qualifications
Must possess OND / WASC / GCE / O’level
4+ years of work experience.
Knowledge of body preservation techniques and ethics.
Prior exposure in the mortuary setting, with possible certification in addition to a school-leaving certificate.
Salary / Benefits
Very attractive.
Additional Bonuses
Opportunity for career development.

Application Closing Date
17th June, 2025.

How to Apply
Interested and qualified candidates should forward their CV to: [email protected] using the Job Title as the subject of the email.




@pjtech
@samuel. Mak una apply instead of causing nuisance here an their

Oh how I wish this job posting is real. I would travel land and sea to get this job.

There is no better opportunity to live in sobriety than to interact with dead bodies every blessed day.

GWC25:
available

Where is this job located, pay, and other benefits?

If, like me, God has decreed (or destined) that all your days, you would be poor and always suffer wants, then accept it. Drink it.



Boss mi, gulp it.



Drink the awesome cup of poverty with merriment and a glad heart.

Reggzy:
two of you get the same brain...

Be nice!

RollinTNDA:
Anytime i wan do givaway
Seun bot go dey block me.
Maybe na sign from God to keep my money and enjoy it😁👌

Bot? The word of the Lord to you as spoken to Zerubabel.

Nothing. Not even a mighty mountain would stand in RollinTNDA's way, it would certainly become a level plain before him. Zec 4 :7

Hey, @Amoto94, can you get me a job that has an accommodation in Abuja.

I am not based in Abuja.

emmaodet:


This is the bitter truth.
Guys doing blue collar jobs - keke drivers, danfo drivers, cow butchers and goat butchers in local market all make reasonable money everyday but graduates are doing shitty jobs.
you have to be shameless in 3rd world countries to make a living.
Only few will get good paying jobs sitting in AC, drinking tea while pressing computer.
And guess what? those blue collar jobs adjust to inflation easily compared to white collar salary jobs that are always stagnant for years.
Reason why you always see civil servants/salary earners always going on strike for salary increment, holding rallies and blocking roads while the so called illiterates and semi-illiterates will look down on adjust their price to inflation - drivers will adjust lagos to ibadan transport fare tomorrow if price of fuel goes up unlike salary earners.
Tomatoes sellers, ogufe sellers etc will all adjust price.
it is up to you to drop your ego and hit the street.

Well said.

koldrun:
.
You get sense.. No doubts
But na dis kind sense dey lead to madness

Reggzy:
nawa for you oo

Try dey reduce am, we no dey read storybook for here na

Apologies for the late response. Once dem take light like this, my case na aurevoir.

I was expecting you would ask a question. Make I try reduce am as you said with a question and answer you since two of una don ask.

Imagine! Imagine that.... Okay, what if the guy wey carry LAPO cooperative money take use stake two sure odd play the game and the game no come. What if e cut! . Na 10 milla burn so ooooo! In addition to all his 50 years losses!

Imagine say na you e happen to.

Imagine say na you wan use LAPO cooperative money, say you wan recover all your 200naira/day losses in the last 50 years! Now, as you dey cry blood say village people don enter your matter, say how you wan take LAPO their money, your brother from obodo America just show face. The guy na big fish. Money miss road.

The man say Regzy, what's the problem? You pile lie upon lie upon lie. Your momcy just die, una wan travel India go meet guru maharaji wey go resurrect am and una go need 10m. All your children need kidney transplant, your wife dey emergency, you need 5m to take run one business. The guy say - Regzy take this 25 milla, use am sort yourself, and don't bother me again.

My guy leave you. You rush use the 25 milla do wetin dey your mind.

You carry two odd, just one straight winning. The game green. E enter. You scream Yahweh is the Most High God. You dance galala. Shoki. Area no hear word! Everybody know say something sup

You return LAPO cooperative money, subtract all your 50 years' losses, shey profit no go still boku so?

Big profit. Owo tabuwa! Ego money.

Now, my question to see if you understand my analogy is this - what if the 25m naira ticket cut?

Reloadedisraelp:
break it down baba .. whats the main point?

I was just thinking loud this morning.

What was I thinking? Go hard or....



GO HOME!

In gambling, it doesn't matter how much you have lost in the present, in the past, and all through your days, it doesn't actually matter.

What matters the most is how much you won.

It's like a business where the shareholders are reconciling .

Let's say this poor guy used to play four (4) ticket every blessed day totaling 200 naira for 50 years and he never wins anything. Everyday his padi would ask how far, and he would respond every time - no show!

"Ah!" someone here would say, "The guy don too lose money ooo! Gambling is not for you."

The guy, in his lifetime, has probably lost close to 200 times 50 times 365.

Hin don too lose money true, true!

That's three million six hundred and fifty thousand naira (3, 650, 000).

I don bone face oo. Guys, abeg make una shift. Make una just dey look me with one kind eye.

Still boning!

Still boning my face!

But what if.


What if dem carry LAPO cooperative money of 10 milla give this poor guy and the guy carry two odds and the game green!

All that he has lost in 50 years, this poor guy gets it back after 90 minutes with plenty to spare. Why do I say this?

The potential winning is 20 milla. If he returns LAPO money, his profit is 10 milla. If you subtract 3.7 milla wey hin lose after 50 years from the 10 milla, shey change no go remain?

Take this message at reader's risk. Do whatever you want with this message.

Talkisneeded:



So what’s not finishing primary school and success has in common??
Graduates in this part of this world thinks everything should be given to them on a plater, just because you went to school for five years,nature should place you higher than someone who has learnt how to till the ground for food or do plumbing work for five years…
Plus many of you can’t even defend your so called certificate sefff…

Life can be crazy I know,nature can be cruel,but nature will only reward those who tries and not those that complains

So let me ask you. Why do people got to school? Is it to play second fiddle? What benefit or difference does it make to an educated fellow who cannot live up to his responsibilities? Why do kids get woken very early in the morning before it's dawn - sometimes mama sprinkles water on them to keep them up! Why do kids get enrolled at about three years of age - with some parents paying money just to get them educated? Why pay termly school fees for the next eight, or nine, or ten years at the primary level? Are you Santa Claus?

As if spending that amount is not enough, you continue to the secondary level - spending good money just to buy entrance forms for your wards. Pay their fees. Get them provisions if they live in the school. Spend on transporting them to school and back. Get their textbooks. Get them a lesson teacher, if they are deficient. Pay for their external examination. Spend on Cultural Day and the likes. This continues for another six years or so. Are you a Father Christmas?

As if you have not spent enough, you continue, spending good money and screaming at the top of your lungs when your ward secures university ission. Some might have to make two, three, or even four JAMB attempts. If you ward lives far away from home, you'd still spend to transport them and back.

No relief. Not all all. Not even during the NYSC: who is going to pay for their traveling expenses and accomodation?

Let him complain. We have all been scammed. Education is a scam. If a boy is trained to be a mechanic at about the same age his parents had enrolled him with his peers in kindergarten, he would have become a professional mechanic at the OP's age with a very fat bank .

A graduate after NYSC in this country is like a naked man in arctic. Everywhere is so freaking cold.

The dividends, promises, and expectation that comes with the tag of a graduate is not what it appears to be. Not in any part of Nigeria, anyway.

It takes at-least sixteen years of intense labour and sacrifice to be a graduate, but what do we get out of it? You can answer this.

Even in developed economies, education in most parts of the world is a scam.

You might play a game of football 100 times and win the fixture only twice. This is quite common.

And guess what, on the two occasions that the final scoreline favours you - is when it matters the most.

Some teams that lost to Inter are now asking questions: is a Round Robin competition your mate? Is a knockout competition your mate? Can you stand up to "chance"? Can you lock horns with "luck"?

kolaj18:
God is always good

The theologians call him the Summum Bonnum - the highest good - for a reason.

Whether the recipient are the fishes in the sea, the birds in the air, domestic animals or even the wild animals as they growl and prowl for their food, and especially to despicable men and women, God is good; good to all. His goodness extends to all his creatures.

One of the world's famous men should actually be very, very infa.mous.

He should actually be notorious for making the world a miserable place for himself, his family, his kinds, and all of mankind.

A once Christian country has been thoroughly polluted because of his precedents. A strange religion from distant DRC, Haiti, Mozambique, Burkina Faso, as far back as 2012 coming from a p.olluted w.retch packaged under different guise. In this day and age, we call it AI, robotics and all the other lies.

If you are not a member (of Nairaland), you are missing. You would not be able to see my newly uploa.ded profile pi.cs where I talked about this des.pic.able wom.an and what he'd falsely have called "tactics."

Never, ever, in your life, underestimate how far a man can be pollu.ted once he has strayed from the straight path. It's a downward spiral. Waaah! Waah! And wooh! Down and down and down and down you go!

When you think the bitterness of death is over.